Moving Sale

I started this blog years ago, at a much different time in my life. I didn't even share it at first, because I wanted somewhere sort-of public but mostly private to spill out all of the shit that I was going through.

When I moved to Florida, I used it as a way to keep in touch with my friends and family and share all of the things that happened to me here.

I kind-of got lost in this blog and lost my focus. I feel myself censoring my thoughts a lot, and I just feel like I have outgrown this blog.

But that is all ok. I am changing my focus and what I write about and what I share...I will be writing more observations and poetry, and while in some ways that is a lot more soul-baring than this has become, in other ways it allows me to be a lot more uncensored. Please check me out here. Bookmark me, come visit, but I understand if it is not your thing. I just need something new. I will still read you!

Honestly, I don't know if I will close down this blog....but I think for now my focus will be here: http://spinetingley.blogspot.com/

But I am finding it hard to let go of this site. I know that's probably done, because who else cares but me? But still, I feel like it has been a place where I changed a lot, but I think I need something else, too.

And Then What?

So.

Here we are! Yeah.....

I keep thinking, "I really should blog!" because of all the self-indulgence and stuff of keeping a blog, but honestly? I don't want to write about some things. Like:

The end of school is really busy!

We need a new roof! So far, in the first year of living in this house, we've put $20,000 into it! Yes, you read that right! Hmmm...no one warned us of this. On a side note, both of our across-the-street neighbors are are also getting roofs put on. That one storm was a bitch.

Pete works too much! It sucks!

The thing is, I am thinking about all of this stuff all of the time, but I am really happy right now, too. It's beach weather, our improved house is great, I love my husband, I love my family (even though I miss them a lot since my mom and dad moved back to NY for the summer), and my friends are great. AND, I am writing A LOT. We've been doing The Artist's Way and I have been taking a writing class, so I really have been writing a lot and turning out some things I like.

As for blogging?

It's at that point where I feel like the things I would blog about would seem like I am complaining, and honestly, does anyone care? I love my life, but do you care that we bought Mamba all new cat-fabulous things the other day? Probably not. If I had some more energy, I probably could have made it into a funny story, but, well, I didn't.

Plus, I think I am social-networked out. Twitter, Facebook, Blog, email, text, and then actually talking on the phone or in person with people, it is too much. Seriously.

So, we'll see what happens here. Things are great, there is also a lot going on, and I don't know if I am so into it right now.

Oh Yeah, I Forgot

The end of the school year is as crazy and busy as the beginning of the school year.

Only four more weeks after this one.

Thank you, God.

Jacksonville Confidential: 100 Single Ladies

I don't know if this is horrifying or fabulous.

Jacksonville Confidential: 100 Single Ladies

The Adult Is Back. Sort Of.

So I am over my whiny bitch session from yesterday.

We have a lot to be thankful for, and I have to keep telling myself that -- we both have jobs, e can pay our bills, though we have absolutely nothing left over, we have a great house, we live five minutes from the beach, we have wonderful family and friends, all of that stuff.

But holy crap, it would be great to win lotto.

Ugh

I've really been very happy lately, none of that depression that seemed to take up most of last year, AND I've been listening to lots of Mika, so how can you feel sad then?

But then, there's all this money shit. Ugh. When we went house hunting and buying, we were all, "we are not purchasing a fixer-upper, no way!" because we saw some of those, and our thinking was that we didn't have the extra money to sink into things like new plumbing, central air, washing machines, and roofs...

Oh, wait.

We still don't have the money, yet we still are having to deal with all of this shit and you know I am over it.

Today, I am over being an adult.

Why did we stop renting? We could be renting a house two blocks from the beach and be paying $1000. For a two-bedroom house. Two blocks from the beach, and I could ride my bike to work. Also into town. And we wouldn't be tied down, and we wouldn't have a fucking mortgage and have to deal with shit like new roofs or washing machines or home repairs and I am so over it all.

The irony is that I made literally double my salary when I was a journalist, and was only 24, and lived a much more glamorous life, traveling all over the world and renting for Christ's sake and not tied down. Ugh. And not having to spend $8,000 on a new fucking roof. Oh and probably $1,000 more for new fucking gutters.

Of course, I am much happier in a lot of ways now, and I love Pete and wouldn't trade that for anything. But seriously?

Over this.

In Paris

Looking in Paris in this light, I was reminded that I should be feeling In Love. I had heard and read how beautiful the city was, this City of Lights, and I had seen the pictures of people kissing by the Eiffel Tower and holding hands as they meandered down side streets filled with vendors. But I just wasn't feeling it.

Oh, I loved the city. I knew that as soon as I stepped off the plane in my jet-lagged haze that I loved the city. I had studied French and French culture since I had been in middle school, all the way through college, and I had finally made my way the city I had spent years dreaming about. I, too, would sit in a cafe drinking coffee, maybe smoking a cigarette, discussing the works of Voltaire and Camus.

Instead, I was walking through the streets of a city I had fallen in love with before I even got there with a man I had fallen out of love with before the relationship had even gotten started. Yes, we sat in the cafe and had Meaningful Discussions, but while we talked about existentialism and Impressionism, we ignored the fact that this wasn't going anywhere.