Begin Again

For years, I was defined as a Runner.

Everyone who knew me, knew I ran. I ran a LOT. All the time -- marathon running. Training was paramount to my existence; I couldn't imagine a Saturday NOT beginning at 5 or 6 a.m. with a three or four hour run. I belonged to running groups and took running classes and ran just about every race in NYC for years.

But then, while two weeks away from running the NYC marathon in 2004, I totally blew my IT band. It was truly one of the most devastating experiences in my life. I had been going through a really, really hard time and running was the one thing that centered me. I knew that once I ran the marathon, I would be able to close a chapter in my life and move on...except I couldn't run the marathon because I was getting cortisone shots in my knew and going through some painful physical therapy. It really was awful.

It's been hard to try running again. I used to run fairly fast and for a long time. But running after the ITB? It was slow and choppy, and eventually I gave up on it all together.

But something has changed for me, and the time has come again. If you aren't a runner, or you don't have a thing like running, it probably sounds very dramatic to write this whole post, but running is a pretty spiritual experience for me -- more so than yoga, more so than going to church -- especially when I run outside. I used to trail run in these woods near my parents' house in NY and I just felt really....let;s just say, connected with forces much bigger than me.

On Tuesday, I am planning on getting back into it. Slowly, and with much more patience this time around. And I don't have the defeatist feeling I had before when I attempted it, and I know this time it will stick. I can't wait to get back into running, and racing, and not being able to imagine a Saturday that doesn't involve a solid two hours of running.