I Thought It Was Just A Simple Trip To Whole Foods

In the car, about a twenty-minute drive from home, coming back from Whole Foods....

FP: Let's get back and get in bed for the rest of the day
Me: I have to do some yard work.
FP: Come on!
Me: OK, after the yard work.
FP: Come on! Cuddle up!
Me: Listen, you don't understand. I have to get my energy out. My brain just has too much energy and I won't be able to relax.
FP: Why don't I let you out here and you can run home? That should get your energy out.

Later, while stuck in traffic.....

FP: pinches my leg
Me: Ouch! Be careful, that is my bad leg
FP: I am going to cut off that leg and give you a wooden one, so that I can knock on it all day and you won't complain.
Me: Hey! Pinching him
FP: And then, I'm going to cut off your fingers and replace them with feathers so they will caress my face instead of pinch.

Later, I was doing this awesome dance to the song "Green Light."

FP: You look like a retarded fish. A retarded, wiggling fish.