You Know You Think This Way, Too

This may not be a very nice post.

I just have to write about it, though, because I have been obsessed since getting to the gym today for my second (awesome) run.

Since I went after work, I had to change in the locker room into my running clothes. No big deal. I don't really have an ounce of modesty, so I don't care about changing out in the big room. Some people do, some people go into the bathroom, but I would say that most women at my gym don't care about changing out in the open. It's usually done fairly discreetly, not much flouncing around or anything (sorry, not a porno in there).

And of course, I, as am I sure everyone else does, try to keep my eyes averted and all, but you just can't help but notice people who are naked a foot away from you. Try it. It is impossible.

But, after noticing them, I generally tend to zone back out and think about working out, mung beans, or whatever the hell else is going on in my head, but not today.

A women who had the weirdest boobs was flouncing about and I could not help but notice. And observe. And then obsess. She had the flattest, at the same time saggiest, at the same time hugest nipples I have ever seen. I don't mean to be crass or anything, well yes I do, I don't mean to be obnoxious, but I just have never seen anything like them before. And either she didn't care or didn't know how...interesting they were, because she was let them flatly sag for a good five minutes.

This was almost as bizarre, but not really at all, as the time I was in the steam room with a masturbator.

Yes, you read that right. I was still living in NYC and went into the steam room after working out. And, in steam room etiquette, I went in in my towel with another towel to sit on. There was already a girl in there who was lying down across the tile bench. I went to the other side of the room, since I didn't need to be all up in her space.

When I first walked in, the steam was coming out, so it was really loud and, well, steamy, so I couldn't really see her that well. When the steam turned off, I heard a....squishy noise. And then, some soft moaning. And as the steam cleared, I saw that she was full-on masturbating. For real.

A million thoughts raced through my head...what do I do? Leave and walk right past her? Try to ignore it? Ask her to be quiet? Wait a few minutes to see if she would stop? What the hell? I was not getting in on it, but was that what she was trying to have happen?

Eventually, I waited a few minutes until the steam came back on, then got my ass out of there. That time I kept my eyes very, very averted.

Weird shit happens in locker rooms.